I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
That quote pretty much sums up my existence in the 21st Century. I got laid off from my job on February 14, 2000. I considered that a good thing. Having worked there a long time I felt it was time to move on. Unfortunately, that gave me the free time to indulge my tendency to over-indulge and led to alcohol-induced seizures; I viewed that as a very bad thing. However, that brought me to AA, which has proven to be excellent; even though I thought it was nonsense at the time.
A pattern had developed that I failed to recognize for quite some time. I experienced things that seemed bad, and often were, but which led to positive results. Meanwhile, pleasurable events often produced awful outcomes. Hurricane Katrina was the ultimate manifestation of that tendency.
The storm and flood were real and separate tragedies that forever changed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. I am one of those people. In the short term, it ruined most of my possessions, destroyed all of my plans and almost led to a complete mental and spiritual breakdown. In the long run, it brought me to a new life and new career that have me feeling happier and more fulfilled than any time before. I just hope that this isn’t a setup for some cosmic pie-in-the-face waiting around the next corner.
I suffer from a little guilt over recovering from the tragedy so well, even while knowing there's no reason to feel that way. Still, many people did not fare as well, and it’s hard to reconcile my good fortune when compared to the misfortunes of so many others. Still, life is seldom fair, and all we can do is carry on as best we can. Therefore, I released my first book on February 3, 2015 and continuing to work every day to improve in my new profession.
So, as I venture forth into my, apparently, bright new future, I can only hope for a change in my recent pattern and that what appears good will produce positive results for a change. Still, I’m no longer sure about anything. I’m like a blind man running into the darkness hoping to crash into good fortune.